Sazerac's the Clown's Super Sheet Music Competition

Sazerac the Clown, Ukulelist Ordinaire and Exterminator of Gloom and Remorse, announces his first ever Sheet Music Design Competition! In the posts below you will find lyrics to some of Sazzie's novelty ukulele ditties. Your charge, design a fanciful sheet music cover. The winner for each song will receive 5 copies of the printed sheet music, a copy of the CD "Without No Pants On: The Genial Orleanians Delineate the Complete Works Of Sazerac the Clown" (scheduled for summer release) and, this being a tough economy, a double-sawbuck. 

Questions? Contact Sazzie at "bakeliteradio at gmail dot com"

The Steinway of the Breadline

The Steinway of the Breadline

By Sazerac T. Clowne

 I want to buy a Steinway, 

The Steinway of the breadline

 That's a Martin Ukulele, you see.

 

And when I buy that Steinway, 

That Steinway of the breadline

Old man depression will have nothing on me.

 (bridge 1)

 Now, I sing the blues, I sing them all day

 I want to chase them with a Model 5K

I want to buy that Steinway of the breadline, 

So brother can you spare a dime?

 I need a Martin U-K-U-L-E-L-E

 

 (2nd bridge) 

President Hoover, get out of my way

 I've got to get myself to Nazareth P-A

 To buy that Steinway, my own Steinway of the breadline

Brother spare me a dime

 It's a Martin ukulele for me, 

You'll see, 

I'll have a Martin U-K-U-L-E-L-E

The Bitter Bluebird

The Bitter Bluebird

A Sazerac Song Sensation

By Sazerac The Clown

 

Verse:

Bluebird, Mr. Bluebird 

I am feeling gay

I met a gal today 

I believe that its love  

Very sweet love 

Oh, Bluebird, Mister Bluebird 

What have you to say?

Will you sing for me today about romance? 

He said “no!”

 

But I’ll sing you a song about the leaves on the trees

I’d even quote Socrates

I’d sing about the stars up above

But I won’t sing about love

 

I’d croon you a tune about riding the breeze

I’d even sing in Japanese

About my friend the dove

But never in the language of love...cause

 

My nest is empty 

Just like my little coal-black heart

Since Miss Bluebird up and left me 

I am all torn apart, oh!

 

I’d read Hammet’s book, the Falcon Maltese,

But not the one about the birds and the bees

Push can come to shove 

I ain’t gonna sing about love

No! 

I ain’t gonna sing about love

No

I ain’t gonna sing about 

I aint gonna sing about 

I’m through with it!

No more songs about love!

 

 

The Dry Cleaner Blues: A Sartorial Lament

The Dry Cleaner Blues: A Sartorial Lament 

by Sazerac the Clown

I soiled my coat, now I got the Dry Cleaner Blues.

I soiled my sport jacket, 

Got me the Dry Cleaner Blues.

That’s the latest news, 

Ol’ Sazzie's got the Dry Cleaner Blues.

 

I’m going to take my coat to the Martinizing man.

I’m gonna take that sport jacket 

To the One Hour Martinizing man.

Mr.  Martinizing Man! 

Please get that stain out if you can.

 

If my coat comes back with that 

“Sorry we can’t get the stain out” tag

If my coat comes back with that 

“Sorry, but try as we might 

We can’t get that stain out” tag

I’m gonna suffocate myself 

With that plastic garment bag!

The Asparagus Spear

The Asparagus Spear

An Up-To-Date Choreographic Conception

By Sazerac the Clown

Do that dance they call the Asparagus Spear 

You won't find romance 

Doing that Asparagus Spear

Just put your left foot next to your right 

Stand stalk-still do nothing all night 

It's really great it is up-to-date, 

It's like you're in a vegetative state! 

So come along and do it the Asparagus Spear 

You can't go wrong doing it, Asparagus Spear 

Everybody is doing it now 

'Cause acting like produce is really a “WOW” 

I just taught you how! 

Do the asparagus spear.

My Crosley Radio

In My Crosley Radio

Sazerac's Latest Marconian Novelty!

In my Crosley Radio, my old Crosley Radio,

I want to go

I want to live inside my old Crosley Radio

Let's put on a show in my Crosley Radio

We'll broadcast live from right inside 

My old Crosley Radio

Hello Kingfish! Hey there, Andy! 

Let me say my reception is dandy

Look over there... it's old Jack Benny and Bing!

Why don't you sing!

In my Crosley Radio, it's a Bakelite radio 

It's where I want to go 

And live inside my old Crosley Radio

2nd Bridge:

Why, hello George Burns! Goodnight Gracie!

By the way Bing that Kraft Cheeswe is tasty!

I'll take a class with Our Miss Brooks

Maybe meet Baby Snooks.

 

Where? My Crosley Radio

It's a Bakelite Radio 

It's where I want to go 

And live inside my old crosley radio

I won't wear pant's and no one will know! 

Cause I'll be living inside 

My old Crosley Radio!

That Specific Pacific Islander

That Specific Pacific Islander

A Sensible Census Song

By Sazerac the Clown

 
Just the other day, down Hawaii way
I met a gal

Her hips did sway

To a breezy Island tune.
I went from Loui-si-N-I-A to Honululu Bay
Just to see that gal
She liked to play 

Under a South Sea Island moon
 
She’s a Pacific Islander,
That’s what she checked on the census
The way she makes that grass skirt shake
It knocks me senseless
 
Now my skies are gray because I couldn’t stay
Down Hawaii way
With that specific Pacific Islander
She doesn’t wear pants, it’s a grass skirt
On that specific Pacific Islander

Sazerac the Clown's Great Sheet Music Competition!

Sazerac the Clown, Ukulelist Ordinaire and Exterminator of Gloom and Remorse, announces his first ever Sheet Music Design Competition! In the posts below you will find lyrics to some of Sazzie's novelty ukulele ditties. Your charge, design a fanciful sheet music cover. The winner for each song will receive 5 copies of the printed sheet music, a copy of the CD "Without No Pants On: The Genial Orleanians Delineate the Complete Works Of Sazerac the Clown" (scheduled for summer release) and, this being a tough economy, a double-sawbuck.

Questions? Contact Sazzie at "bakeliteradio at gmail dot com"